'One Last Bottle'

In my head....in my head I need things.

Right now I need to write...things pile up, what else can you do...for lack of paper and privacy I retreat to the land of virtuality that they call the world wide web.
What do I need? I need paper...a pen...a drink to send me to sleep...a painkiller to numb the mind...a party to get things out of my systems. Wake up in the afternoon, headache means nothing 'cause it'll be gone again soon, pop cap on next bottle. Who am I? I am World...outside I'm a pair of 6 inch stilettos and glamorous style hanging off the arm of suit-tie-and-muscles but on the inside I'm flesh, blood, rot...

What do I need? I need reassurance...readjustment...rethinking...windscreen wipers to push off the clouds of emotion from glassy eyes. Can't sleep at night, anger comes roaring, bitter taste in mouth and heart means nothing 'cause its been there long, pop cap on next bottle. Who am I? I am reliance...outside I'm flesh, blood, rot but on the inside I'm liquid fury bacardi and coke two martinis a whisky margarita ice and no lemon.

What do I need? I need money...sustenance...support the problem...criminal record, wont hire, gone broke, need a fix. Can't last the night without, raid trash, scrounge cash, lonely hole means nothing 'cause the liquid temporarily fills it, pop cap on next bottle. Who am I? I am Addiction...outside I am liquid fury bacardi and coke two martinis a whisky margarita ice and no lemon but on the inside I am useless nameless empty space invisibility.

What do I need? I need you. I'm going crazy without you but there's a part of me that says "No, you can't, you'll just mess it up again...you're not good enough for him." That part wants to dominate. It seems like such a humble remark and yet it wears a suspicious smirk...you don't want me. You don't need me. Of course not, I'm useless..I'm nothing and you can have anyone so I'll drown my sorrows, pop cap on next bottle. Who am I? I am Nobody...outside I am useless nameless empty space invisibility but on the inside I am yearning longing dying for you.

What do you need? You need cold...broken...empty...open to be filled, to be healed, to be taken over. Don't need anyone but choose to help and hold and mold and make. There's no part that doesn't want yet no desire for more than helpless, best useless. Take heart, clean up, make new, draw smile, empty cup means nothing 'cause it'll be filled with hope, pop cap on new vessel. Who are you? You are Everything...outside you are yearning, longing, dying for me but on the inside you are raising and ruling and loving and saving and healing and holding and touching and caring and molding and shaping and giving and taking and patiently waiting...for them...to pop cap on last bottle. Your arms are open their hearts are broken when I tell them they will turn around and see you standing there.

Who am I? I am Yours.