Why oh Why oh Wyoming

So...here's the thing.

My adorable friend bought me a plane ticket to Wyoming for Christmas...

and I like it....

Like...a heck lot......

Cause this is where I'm going....

Today I'm really missing California.

I miss going out for drives with Josh in his big white truck on a super crisp and beautiful morning.
I miss getting starbucks and cruising through the vineyards with the windows down and a big jacket on.
I miss waking up every week day to get together with the body of Christ to worship to start off the day.
I miss Thursday morning biscuits and gravy.
I miss my worship band.
I miss Tom Mauch.
I miss hanging with Ashley in the office eating donuts and drinking coffee.
I miss being called Curby Grip.
I miss playing board games in the cafeteria on friday night.
I miss the multitude of amazing people with amazing gifts and talents.
I miss the Lake.
I miss dorm checks.
I miss Sunday night chapel.
I miss meeting awesome women on weekend retreats who tell me about their experiences in life.
I miss babysitting for the Pastor's wives.
I miss Hebrew class.
I miss my morning spot in the hot springs where the steam made amazing patterns in the sun.
I miss riding bikes to Harveston
I miss getting bags of dried pineapple from Winco
I miss reading for hours in Barnes and Noble.
I miss In-n-Out
I miss Grandpa Chuck and his hugs.
I miss california sunsets.
I miss polaroid pictures with close friends
I miss everything.
Everything.

Smooth Landings

God is good.

Its a shame how much this powerful statement has been turned into such a cliche. I can't count one two hands the number of times I've used it in such a disappointing context. "How are you, what's going on in life", my response a dull "I'm not doing so well but hey, God is good."
What does that even mean?

Since I got back from California things have been hard and instead of picking up my shield of faith I've let trials and sin hit me like a ton of bricks. I've turned to things of the world to bury myself under, not because I thought they would help me in any way, just because it was a temporary distraction. There is a mold I fit into here, one that I was formed into before I knew the Lord, one that is much easier to slip back into rather than break out of. Along with it comes bad habits, harsh words, fake smiles. I convinced myself that it was so difficult to get back to where I'd been in California; in a good place with the Lord. I convinced myself that I couldn't do what I knew I should, that I didn't have the strength to fight or push out of my situation.

Let me tell you, I was right.

It was so hard to get back to where I'd been before because that's not where my Father wanted me to be. He wanted me to move on, to push on towards for the prize. And I couldn't do it, my human self does not contain the ability to conquer. He waited and waited for me to see that all I had to do was close my eyes and fall back into His arms that are strong enough to hold me and all my feelings, my bad habits, my troubles, my attitudes and everything else that weighs me down.

And its always wonderful at the end to look back down the valley and see how He got you through it. He uses so many people even the ones that you sometimes feel Satan is using to heighten your trial. And sometimes it only takes one situation or one person to push back the curtain and reveal all that He's been doing behind the scenes. All the times that people tell you what you already know and get sick of hearing fly out of the window when one says "I love you enough that I'm not going to let you do this to yourself because you don't have to".

I'm learning the language of God's love. That there are different ways to show it, different ways to speak His truth to people that don't always use words.

God IS good.

Its just that our definition of 'good' isn't quite what it should be.
I looked in the dictionary and was not suprised to see that it was most certainly NOT written by Christians hahaha!

I don't know why I'm still here where I don't want to be but I know that if I wasn't then I would have missed out in some immense blessings.

You're all blessings, don't forget how utterly precious you are to Him. Its hard to remember that we don't need to be accepted by people, we don't have to fit in with everyone or be fashionable and popular. He made us beautiful in His eyes though ours aren't often open enough to see it. Even though to the world we're outcasts, social invaders, party poopers etc. He is far above that.

Well, I'm back in the atmosphere and I'm excited for what the Lord will do.